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If the loudest response on your last post came from your cousin, your neighbour, and someone you worked with in 2009, we need to talk.
They’re not bad people, and of course, their support is not bad. But making content that engages people who will never hire you is not a good strategy, especially when they’re not part of your ideal audience.
Social media works best when your content is built for your ideal audience, not the people who already know you, love you, or feel obligated to support you. If you build your content around the wrong people, you’ll stay stuck posting politely forever and your business won’t grow.
The Problem No One Wants to Say Out Loud
Most small business owners don’t consciously decide to ignore their ideal audience. They start posting for whoever is already there.
When they first start a business, of course, they ask all their friends, family and connections to follow them. They start making content for those people…what they comment on, what keeps them coming back, what they’re comfortable saying to them.
Over time, their content becomes shaped by friends, family, former coworkers, and well-meaning supporters who like them as a person but have no intention of becoming a customer. And don’t forget the almighty algorithms…they love to show your content to more people like those who interact…so more cousins, former co-workers and non-ideal people.
Your current audience is often an accident of timing and proximity. Your ideal audience is a choice based on research and strategy. And those two groups are rarely the same.
Why Your Ideal Audience Matters More Than Any Algorithm Update
Your current audience, in most cases, reflects your past. Think of it as a “starter house”, “starter ring”, or a “starter husband”…whatever floats your boat.
Your ideal audience reflects where your business is trying to go…the house you aspire to live in once you have a partner, children and pets.
When your content is aimed at the wrong group, that’s when you start to wonder why social media isn’t working for your business. Your messaging becomes watered down. Your opinions are often excluded. It’s like you’re trying to squeeze a husband, three kids and two Bernese Mountain Dogs into a two-bedroom condo.
That’s usually when people start blaming the platform or chasing algorithm updates. But if your content isn’t built for your ideal audience, no amount of optimization is going to fix the disconnect (or get rid of the dog smell in that tiny condo).
Engagement without alignment rarely leads to sales.
Where This Goes Off the Rails in Real Life
This is where theory turns into real conversations I have all the time.
Someone tells me their kids say a platform is cringe, so they don’t think they should use it. Their teenager thinks Facebook is embarrassing, and TikTok is the only place culture exists. Cool. Are they buying your services?
Unless your ideal audience is a teenager with a driver’s test next week, their opinion does not belong in your strategy meeting.
Others tell me their partner thinks they’re doing Reels wrong, or that they shouldn’t use their headshots on social media, or that a story about their pet is just noise. And I get it. Those opinions come from people who care about you.
But unless those people are part of your ideal audience, they’re supportive bystanders, not your target market. They get a vote on dinner plans. They do not get a vote on your positioning.
Then there’s the fear of annoying friends, or being judged by former coworkers, or the gossip hive around the corner in your rural community. Yes, they probably will see it. And yes, they will talk about it. You’ll survive it.
If these people are editing the message in your head, your ideal audience never gets to hear the full version of you.
Building content to keep everyone comfortable isn’t really marketing; it’s more like emotional crowd control. Opinions on your business only matter when they come from people who actually belong to your ideal audience.
What Changes When You Speak to the Right People
When you start speaking directly to your ideal audience, everything gets easier.
You stop explaining yourself before anyone asks. You stop hedging every opinion. You stop trying to sound neutral or universally agreeable. Your content starts to sound like you again.
The right people feel seen. The wrong people drift away. Don’t think of that as a failure, because it’s your social media strategy working exactly as it should.
“But I Don’t Know Who My Ideal Audience Is”
If you’re new, evolving, or still refining your direction, not knowing your ideal audience yet is completely normal. You don’t need a perfect profile (or that “forever home”). You DO need to take the first steps towards defining who most needs your products or services.
Start by looking at your best clients, the ones who paid without questioning your worth, got real results, and didn’t drain your energy. Patterns show up quickly when you actually look for them.
If you have customers, ask them what they struggled with before finding you, why they chose you, and what finally clicked after they worked with you.
If you don’t have clients yet, borrow rooms that already exist. Join Facebook Groups where your future ideal audience hangs out. Go to networking events. Pay attention to the conversations people are already having. Listen more than you talk. Notice what people complain about and what makes them lean into a conversation. Also, pay attention to your personal energy bank. Who drains you? Who energizes you? Who do you secretly hope doesn’t book again? And, who do you wish you had more of?
That’s customer research, and it will pay off the more you implement what you learn.
Not Everyone Needs to Like Your Content
When you’re in business, social media is not a popularity contest. Full stop. The time you spend online is for marketing your offerings.
If your content starts to repel people who were never going to buy from you, that’s a win. If it attracts fewer people but higher-quality leads, that’s better.
You don’t need to be liked by everyone. Especially people from your past lives.
You do need to be clear in your messaging and offerings for your ideal audience to find you.
One Thing to Do Right Now
Now, take a deep breath. You don’t need to rush to overhaul your entire strategy. Let’s start with one simple thing.
Write one post for one specific person you actually want to work with. Not current followers. Not friends. Not the people who always comment.
You don’t have to name them, but pick one real human you want more of in your business. Someone who fits your ideal audience, even if they haven’t found you yet.
Before you post, think about what they’re frustrated by right now, what they’re tired of hearing in your industry, what they need permission to stop doing, and what they need to hear that no one else is saying clearly.
Write one post as if it’s only for them.
If you feel a small spike of discomfort before hitting publish, that’s usually the sign you’ve stopped posting for your cousin and started posting like a business owner.
FAQ: The Questions You’re Probably Asking Right Now
How do I stop caring what the wrong people think about my content?
You probably won’t stop caring overnight, and that’s fine. The goal isn’t emotional detachment; rather, it’s learning how to override those icky feelings and post anyway.
Before you post, ask yourself whether the person whose opinion you’re worried about is actually part of your ideal audience. If they’re not, their discomfort or disapproval doesn’t get to drive your business decisions.
Strategy gives you something solid to stand on when the nerves kick in. Without it, every opinion feels equally loud.
What does posting for my ideal audience actually look like?
Posting for your ideal audience means identifying the problem they’re stuck in, using language they already recognize, and being specific instead of trying to appeal to everyone. It means sharing opinions that attract the right people and don’t engage the rest.
If it feels like you’re finally saying the thing you usually water down or avoid, you’re probably on the right track. If it feels safe and universally agreeable, you’re probably still posting for your cousin.
How do I figure out my ideal audience without overthinking myself into paralysis?
Most people get stuck because they try to solve everything, everywhere, all at once. Audience, messaging, platforms, content, confidence. That creates mental gridlock that keeps you from posting for your ideal audience, if you post at all.
You don’t have to do this alone, and you definitely don’t do it all at once.
Inside Social Media Strategy for Anti-Heroes, you’re guided through the process step by step with custom AI assistants that help you ask better questions, spot patterns you’ve missed, and keep you moving instead of stalling out.
This course isn’t about making more content. It IS about posting with a strategy to connect with your ideal audience.
Get the new and improved Social Media Strategy for Anti-Heroes and start building content for the people who are actually going to buy from you.
